As a single lady, with few close friends and the majority of my wider circle of friends not living in the same city as me, I can easily become a social recluse. (And sometimes that’s exactly what I need).
I’m in that ~phase at the moment. I’ve had a few days where I don’t want to see anyone and I don’t want to do anything (I’ve avoided the gym, been eating terribly, sitting in bed and watching TV. I’ve cancelled my plans for tomorrow.) But that’s ok. A few days of just complete nothingness is sometimes needed, and I wish more people would say that.
You don’t have to have a full social calendar.
You don’t need plans for every day or even every week. You need what you need, not what society tells us we should. At the end of a busy work day you may be someone who wants to socialise, discuss your day with friends and family, go out and do something fun with them. That’s not really me.
I will have spent all day talking to people (teenagers at that) and trying to be attentive to their needs and supportive (whilst also trying not to get too annoyed at them). I don’t want to then spend my evenings building more relationships. I’m exhausted from it. All I want is some sofa and TV time (although admittedly having someone to do that with, without the need for conversation would maybe be the ideal…) I’m sure some of you at least are the same as me in this respect.
So I’m very content with a lack of weekday evening plans, as I’m sure many of you are.
But what about the weekends?
I try to make social plans once a week, usually on Saturdays. This is what seems to work best for me. As it currently stands most of my Saturdays are booked up from now until June, but it’s not always this way.
January was a silent month. I didn’t reach out and make plans with anyone, the Christmas come down was tough and I was really struggling. All I wanted was my bed and my shows. Maybe a whole month was too long, but it’s where I felt I was at the time. Eventually at the end of the month I made some plans. It helped me to get out of that phase and into the next one.
That involved a day or two of messaging all of my friends and making lots of plans, because sometimes, you just need things to look forward to.
When you can see the months ahead with fun activities and people you love everything gets easier. Having only ever been single I can’t say how important this is for different groups of people. Maybe it is just because of who I am. But when you don’t just have someone to make impromptu plans with or as your ‘go to’ for any activities, planning is key. And although sometimes I need my time without plans, having them definitely puts me in a great place. It helps me get through the sometimes lonely, slow, boring times, to know that life is great and full of wonderful things.
What are your fun plans for the next few months?
I’m particularly looking forward to; a few days away in Barcelona, going to see three of my favourite bands, a mini weekend away in the UK with some close friends, finally seeing Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and a Hen Party!
These things all make me smile and remind me to keep making plans, even if that plan is sometimes to have no plans.